This post was brought to you by Pinot Noir

Here I sit. . . cozy on the couch., in my comfy cloths, in my usual spot with my usual Fall colored throw that Josh absolutely hates, lol. He has every right to hate it. Haha.  I got it on sale a year ago, I'd been eying if for a few weeks. The colors were so beautiful - rust and olive green chocolate browns with a few golden strands here and there, that kinda thing. Well. . . The stupid throw sheds worst than my dogs :| So, yea. . . here I sit, snug as a bug watching the movie "Andre". Sometimes I get these nostalgic feelings and pine to watch movies I loved as a child, or rather young person. . . Did I mention that I'm drinking Pinot Noir? Did I also mention that I'm drinking it straight from the bottle. Is it sad to say I was a little lazy and didn't want to get up to get a glass?? My excuse is that I drank half the bottle a few days back and since I know I'll finish the rest tonight, a glass. . . is not needed :) Pure logic I tell ya, pure logic. I'm quite happy right now if that means anything!!

I feel like the last part of this year is flying by. . . Like, seriously, wtf?!?  Does anyone else feel this way. I feel like I might say this every year, but  I swear this year if feels even faster. Hummm. Thanksgiving is in two days and it does not feel like Thanksgiving just yet. Mother Nature is late for the Fall party. . .  crazy bitch. I'm ready for some cold weather!!

(side note - So, Mr. Pnut and I have been watching Fringe (love!!) and Joshua Jackson playes Peter, well I'm watching Andre, the movie about the seal, and Joshua Jackson is in it as a little kid, loooooooollololol. I'm giggiling over here)

Okay, so back to how freaking fast time is flying by. (Side pic - Josh and I dressed as Zombies for a Halloween Party this year) I have to say I'm sadly disappointed that I haven't seen more craziness happening in the news about Dec 21st, 2012. (Pinot Noir makes me sarcastic). I thought for sure there would be large groups of people freaking out right about now. . . Tomorrow will make it a month till dooms day. Hahahha. I remember last year and the year before last when I was in the trenches of ttc. . . I felt this indescribable need to get pregnant fast so that I could get pregnant and have a baby before the world ended. wtf?? Is wrong with me? I don't know why I felt that way... but this tiny little voice in the back of my head would say "well, what if something really does happen" Nothing like feeling and hearing the ticking countdown of imaginary impending doom.  I don't really think the world is going to end, but you know. . . I'm infertile, I have irrational thoughts from time to time. On an infertility note, I'm doing well :) Still on Birth Control, still having Endo pain :| But doing well over all!! November was a little hard, as it was a year since our last loss, the one that ripped my heart out, yea . . . that one. It was hard, I actually cried on that day. . . it felt nice *sigh*. I'm strong. . . I'm ready. . . for IVF. Eeeek!!

I'm really excited for the new year to come. Eeek! Lots of things to come and I can't wait.

Well, peeps. . . This is totally just a rambling, wine induced post, so I will end here and say goodnight. I hope you are all doing well and soon I will return to blogger full time - xoxoxo

 

Feeling un-Halloweeny

Halloween is days away, and this is the first year in a very long time that I could care less about it :| Halloween is my all-time favorite festive day of the year :( How depressing am I, lol. Josh, and I dressed the dogs up in costumes the other day, it put a smile on my face! I decorated a pumpkin several weeks back with Anna, but that's the extent of my Halloween-ness this year. I'm such a Debbie-Downer. Humph...




So, the waiting continues. . . no news is good news, I guess.

I've been okay maintaining my thoughts and feelings. I've still been avoiding all my friends, phone calls and such. I'm sorry for this but, it's just to hard to casually talk about right now. I'm teetering on the edge of insanity Errrr. Yesterday, I woke up pissed off, angry, sad, depressed, and anxious. . . I felt so much emotion, that it was impossible to get away from, I just had to feel it, every effing ounce of it, no escape. I was depressed all day, cried before work, made it through work, cried the entire way home, and then some more at home with Josh. I really don't know how I'd make it without him ♥

On a side note...

I have a spot on my butt cheek the size of a nickle, a spot on my toe, and a small spot on my nose that are strange, flaky, red, itchy, and not bug bites bites. They don't seem to be going away, or getting better. These did not show up until the last few weeks. Several years ago I had a spot on my skin that would not go away and my dermatologist said it was Morphea, which is also known as localized lupus. With the sudden appearance of these new spots, I did a little investigating online, and I am curious if these new spots have anything to do with Lupus. I've never thought I had it before, never asked, never really knew much about it, but I think I may ask Dr. Laura what she thinks. It's odd that they would just now show up, during such a stressful time.

Someone can just shoot me now, so I'll stop freaking out about stupid crap... I really wouldn't mind, hahaha.

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Trick or Treat

Halloween was awesome..Always my favorite ♥ I went to a haunted house Friday night with Anna and Sarah. We went to Hangman's House
of Horror and I'll just say the adventure getting there was very..ummm interesting. It should not have been as complicated as it was and somehow it was extremely complicated. We got there in one piece so that's all that matters right? The haunted house was really fun. I would say on a scale on 1-10 for scary factor only about a 5 or 6 but still exciting lol. I worked Sat night and did a turnaround..Meaning I got off at 11:00pm and went back at 7:00am. Ugh.Everyone hates turnarounds..but sometimes it's nice to get it all out of the way, especially if that turn around is leading into your Friday. I know..it's a complicated way of thinking sometimes. For Halloween night I met Sarah over and Jen-stars Snail ranch and we trick or treated from there. The kids were so freaking cute. Liberti was Bat-girl, Ethan a Vampire and lil miss Miranda Jane was a fairy *very cute one*. We did not win the pumpkin carving contest at work. *sad face* ET did not rock the house as we thought he would, in-fact we came in last place. Bummer :( The executive office staff won, which I can't lie they totally deserved. They did a great job with very little time available and they used glitter..which is always cool! I got a job promotion *happy dance* I am now the Front Office Manager for the Hotel..got a little raise too which is always nice. I have been with my job for 5 years..I work hard, treat people well and I'm reliable..I definitely feel I deserve it. I will also get to work a little more in the mornings. Josh works days so that will be great! The weather has really started to get cooler around here. We turn the heater on at night lately so we're not freezing in the morning and yesterday was cloudy and rainy..my favorite. This weekend I'm going out downtown for a girls night out. *betta watchout* Haven't had one of these in a while. I'm excited and ready to shake it on the dance floor! The elections were on Tuesday and yes I voted..and I voted early. Because I voted early I did not get my sticker..kind bummed about that..haha I have a collection of my old ones. I'm seriously a dork. Rick Perry is still the governor of Texas..boo to that! I'm just glad the republicans didn't take the senate..ooh politics..why do you make me so crazy? Speaking of crazy.. The Clomid is in full swing* come on ovaries you can do it*..lol Hot flashes are back.Ugh..at least It makes me laugh ♥

ET Phone home.

My pumpkin for the 2010 Hotel Pumpkin Carving Contest