IVF egg retrieval - Tomorrow Morning - Eeek!!

Ladies and Gents. . . 

I’ve been a bit quite on the Blogger front, but I did want to let everyone know that I officially go in tomorrow morning at 6:15am for my IVF egg retrieval – Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! 

*Happy Dance* 

I am beyond excited and nervous all at the same time, lol. I feel peaceful about the situation and I'm remaining as positive as I can. I’m sorry to all of my blogger friends for not really sharing much of the process with you all, but I’ve been cheating on Blogger with Youtube. I started making Vlogs, basically video blogs, and since then I haven’t felt very compelled to write out as many things anymore. On the bottom of this post I will include some video links to videos I’ve done over that past couple weeks and months, so that if anyone wants to catch up or see what’s been going on in my world then you certainly can!!

I don’t have much else to say other than - I seriously can’t believe we’re doing Egg Retrieval tomorrow. I feel so amazed that the process has so far. . . gone very smoothly. I feel like the time has flown by faster than I could ever have imagined. I did took my trigger shot last night and went back in to the fertility office this morning for a blood test to make sure the HCG is being absorbed by my body. . . Eeeeeeek!!! 

After the egg retrieval tomorrow I will be off for 3 days so I’m going to take it easy and veg out on my couch to let my body heal. Hopefully the Embryo transfer will be on Monday the 13th, but we’ll know for certain a day or two after the retrieval, if anything it would wind up on Sunday and that's Mothers day *sigh*.

So that’s it folks. . . We’re really, really doing this!! 

I will try and update after the retrieval to let you all know how I’m doing. 

Take care everyone!! 

Links to IVF Facebook Page and Youtube Channel 

https://www.facebook.com/theredheadfilesIVF 

http://www.youtube.com/user/cristaleen

IVF Update for my Bloggy Peeps!!

I know it's been a little while since I posted an IVF update on my blog so here goes!!

I had my Hysteroscopy on Tuesday March 26th and everything looked great. The surgery was quick and minimal :) There were no polyps or scar tissue found *Happy Dance*. The recovery time was very quick and I only had slight bleeding and cramping. Overall things went really smoothly.

We officially received ALL of our medications today!! Eeeeek. Josh text me today at work as soon as they arrived, hehe. Seeing that box brought a smile to my face, but when I opened it up, seeing everything in that box made me a little nervous. . . so many needles it makes my stomach a little queasy already, lol. I'm starting to feel anxious throughout the days now, I know my mind is preparing for this gigantic step we're about to take so the stress I'm feeling is something I need to get used to over the next few weeks. It's just such a nerve wracking process. But I'm suuuuuuper excited to be here!! This has been a long time coming, a long journey with lots of bumps along the way and I feel so unbelievably blessed to get this chance. Next week I will have an appointment to go over all the medications and we'll get our timeline!!! The timeline is a calendar with your medication start date, doses and your estimated egg retrieval and transfer. OMGawdddd. It feels so weird to actually say "our retrieval and transfer". Some days, many days along the way I felt like we were never going to get here, but here we are ready to dive in head first :)

For any of my blog readers that Facebook - I made a Facebook page for "The Redhead Files". Over the last year I've slacked off on blogging and it's partly due to not actively trying to conceive and partly, because I started making videos/Vlogs on YouTube!! I will be posting videos, thoughts, ups, downs, and pictures on my Facebook Page with friends and family and who ever else that wants to follow along. Cheers to IVF in 2013!!!!!

Facebook Page 

 

The Redhead Files 

IVF update!!

We officially went in on February 4th for our first IVF consult appointment!!

Since my grandmother passed away the day before our appointment my brain was not really focused on the IVF stuff. The day of our appointment we were supposed to give blood and "swim team" samples, but I also had an appointment with the funeral home that day, so we didn't get to do that part, because I needed to leave earlier than expected. I've been holding out on doing anything over the last couple weeks, because I just needed more time to deal with her death. I didn't want to start blood work until I felt a little bit more normal, and less emotional. . . I'm doing better now. It is still hard and it hurts that she is gone, but I'm learning to smile again. . .

Josh and I went to the Fertility office on Friday to get things started!! I went to GNC and picked up our high antioxidant vitamins. Geeeez. . .  72.00 Bucks for a 1 month supply for both of us. *gulp*

I gave about 8 vials of blood and Josh also gave blood and a "swim team" sample. (He's such a trooper)

They did a Direct Sperm Antibody test, in the office - which came back normal!!! They are also doing a Sperm Fragmentation test, to see if we'll need IVF - ICSI.

My TSH level was normal :)

I learned that I'll need a diagnostic Hysteroscopy, as my Doctor thinks I may have a polyp. . . Uggg. On March 22nd, I'll have my pre-op appointment and on the 26th I'll have the "mini surgery" as they call it. My doctor will do it in the O.R. and put me under that way if there is a polyp, she can remove it and send it off for testing ASAP.

Once I get the Hysteroscopy done, we'll go back into the office and go over all of our blood work and swim-team tests. Then we'll set up a start date for our IVF cycle and go over the medication process. I think we'll have to schedule a class with the nurse to teach us how to do the injections, what to mix, when to mix and all that good stuff.

Holy Crap. (O.o) -  I'm getting more excited each day!!!

 

We are totally doing IVF in the Spring!!

So. . . I'm having another date night with a bottle of Pinot Noir! Hahaha, I promise I'm drinking out of a glass this time! More like a coffee cup, but hey it gets the job done. I'm watching "Rock of Ages", snuggled in my blanket, eating some peppermint bark and oh my gosh - I think I unconsciously swoon over Alec Baldwin. I think it's, because he's an Aries like me. He seriously makes me giggle :) Or maybe it is really, because I watch "30 Rock" and I love, LOVE love the relationship between Liz and Jack. . .  I always imagine Josh as my Jack :)

Lately, life has been very busy and I'm so, soo happy that the Holiday season is coming to an end! Work has been super busy, Josh's Nanny passed away and we flew to Louisiana in early December. . . When I got back I went back to work the next day and worked for 10 days straight, my grandmother, the very woman who raised me has been in and out of the Hospital for the last two weeks. She is out now and doing better, but geeeeze. I'm ready for a break and ready for things to calm down. Ugggg. Holiday season in my job field = craziness and longer hours. I'm burnt out, lol.

So, obviously the world did not end on the 21st :| I think I may have secretly hoped something slightly crazy would happen,lol I kept saying to Josh "If the world ends, or society as we know it ends then I won't have to work anymore" Hahaha. Wouldn't that be nice? Oh-well, maybe next time. I did have a Christmas-Dooms Day party at my house on Friday - The day the world was supposed to end, lol. It was a blast!! I had such a great time. I have to say it was the best party turn out at my house since we've moved in :) Christmas was good, not great, but good. I enjoyed being with my family the most! I think I feel so blah about it, because I had to work both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day - Booooo. *sigh* and, because yet again we celebrate Christmas without our own little family - Infertility and Endometriosis suck - Big time *stomps feet*

But. . .  Hopefully. . . This will be our last Christmas as just the two of us!!

I haven't really been open or very verbal about this on Blogger, because I wasn't quite ready to share with everyone, I know some people read my blogs and I wasn't ready for them to know, but now I am.

Josh and I are moving forward with IVF in the spring. . .

Holy Freaking Crap!! 

Our first IVF consult appointment is set for February 4th *Eeeeeeeek*

I actually posted a blog months ago in my excitement and then took it down the very next day, lol. Some of you saw that, but for those who didn't - now you know!! I recently had 2,000.00 dollars worth of medication donated to me - OMG!! How awesome is that??? I feel truly blessed and if I don't use all of it then I will donate my remaining med's to someone in the end.

I am beyond excited *sigh* I'm also really scared, nervous and anxious. This is a huge step, a huge risk. Our hearts could be ripped apart or we could get he best gift life could possibly give. Looking over the year of 2012. . . it was filled with hurt, grief, pain, healing and frustration. I still feel some of those things here and there, but for the most part I do pretty well!! I'm strong in my head, strong in my heart and strong in my reason for continuing to try for a baby of our own. I will be going to a new Fertility Clinic, which makes me a bit nervous, but my doctor is moving to this clinic so that should make the transition much easier. I will probably start posting a bit more as we get closer. I will need a place of venting, questioning and reasoning. Blogging has always helped me through uncertain times.

In the new year Josh and I plan to get back into health mode!! We've been eating bad and drinking and all that good stuff. Now it's time to get back on track and get into baby-making mode. It's not the most romantic way to make a baby, but I have high hopes and at this point I don't care what it takes to get there. I just want to get somewhere. I'm excited about IVF, but realize and keep reminding myself that this is not a 100% guarantee. . . I will remain optimistic in my days ahead.

I signed up for a 5k in February :) I'm really excited about that. It is partly motivation to keep in shapte and healthy for IVF, but also something really fun to do. I've never done one before, but I've always wanted to do one. I turn 30 in March, have a small list of a few tings I want to do before turning 30, a 5k is one of them. I'm trying not to wig out about turning 30, but I have tiny moments here and there where I feel my youth slipping away, lol. I need to start planning a Birthday Bash!! We will not start an IVF Cycle until about April, so I will allow myself one night of fun and a few drinks!! I'm specifically waiting until after my Birthday to do IVF, because if it doesn't work I don't want to be sad and miserable during my 30th birthday. This past birthday when I turned 29 I was in the dumps. We did our 2nd IUI and I was in my 2WW on my birthday. . . I could not enjoy myself. I think I knew deep down inside that the IUI didn't work so it put me in a pretty fowl mood, I was so depressed and felt like such a failure, I was really angry with my body. . . I will not do that to myself again, not again.

Merry Christmas to everyone!! or Merry "What ever you celebrate" - See everyone in the new year!!

Thoughts. . .

I've sat down several times over the last couple weeks and tried to write a blog post; however. . .  they are all saved as drafts right now. They'll probably stay that way, as my brain hasn't been able to really get in the sharing mode. I either start off really well and fizzle out, or force my self to start and wind up writing a novel of repetitive feelings that make no sense. *sigh*.

So, here I am. . . Lost. . . Lost in an "in-between" world of Infertility and not quite sure how to really feel about it anymore.

We actively tried during the month of July to get pregnant. It was my last hurrah, my last chance trying on our own. One last moment to be mocked by my reproductive systems inability to do anything right. I used OPK's, pre-seed and the softcup. . . I'm on CD 32, AF is imminent, and of course I don't feel pregnant, nor do I think I am. Somehow I let myself believe that maybe, just maybe we'd get our miracle this month. Why do I do that to myself? I'm not devastated that I didn't get pregnant, because deep down I knew I wouldn't, but that tiny bit of hope floating around in my head thought it could be possible, but it's not. And, it just sucks. The reality of my Infertility pisses me the fuck off.

So, I called the RE office yesterday and asked for a prescription for BC. I was planning to do the Endo diet instead of taking BC, but I haven't even started my diet and figured I'd better take the BC so things don't get worse. I do still plan to start my diet, but at the same time I feel so defeated. I feel so many effing things that it's not even funny. I want to sulk and feel sorry for myself, but I also want to feel better and move on. . .

I don't even know if I want to do IVF anymore. I feel like it would be so much easier to just make the decision now, not to have kids so that I can move on with my life and start learning how to accept things. I feel like waiting for IVF is another few years of uncertainty that will steal away my life and my happiness and there is no guarantee that it will work. . . I feel like such a pessimist. Not everyday, but today I do.

After my RE consult in June, when she told me IVF was going to be the only way, I was angry, then happy and then ready to save money... I think I was wanting so badly to feel better that I just pretended that I was "cool" with it, but I'm not, not really. I'm still angry, still frustrated. still grieving my loss(es) and still pissed off at everything we've been through. We have nothing to show for it, but a few invisible scars and buried feelings that resurface and taunt me from time to time.

I have been enjoying the summer, so that is good. I feel like I really have fun when I do stuff with friends, but when I'm alone, I feel very alone with my thoughts. I need to start working out again, I know that will help alleviate this depression I'm feeling... It's just so hard to give your self the jump-start that is so desperately needed sometimes.

I've been doing a month long video challenge on my Youtube Channel, it is called VEDA (Video Everyday in August). I will post the link to my first VEDA on the bottom... we're now on day 10 and I'm proud to say I've actually stuck with it... let's see how if I can finish it without missing any days, hahaha.

My sister, Natalie moved back home :) It's been years since she lived close to us. I'm looking forward to spending time with her, having sister time and sister talks. One of my best friends (for the last 10 years) has fallen off the grid with a boy that hits her, and now we never talk. I've missed having a girl to vent to and she was always that person. I use to visit her at least once a week, becuase she only lived 10 minutes away, she was my escape, my laughter and my silliness. Several, several months ago she moved and wouldn't let me come see her, everything was an excuse. I knew it was, because she didn't want me to know she was still with that guy, so everything feel apart after that and now I might hear from her once a month, if that. I miss her so much, I worry about her and hope she figures life out. I was really angry inside with her at first when everything got bad. I wasn't really sure why, but then I realized it was, because after my miscarriage I needed friends more that anything and that's when she started fading away. I felt like she abandoned me as a friend, I was hurting and needed a friend and she wasn't there for me. . . I guess I'm just now starting to accept it and move on, losing a friend is hard. I know she's not gone, but in a way she is. I love her so much and will be there for her if she ever needs anything.

Any-who. Sorry this blog is so "Debbie-downer-ish" I just had to get thoughts out and put them somewhere other than my head, lol.

VEDA Challenge!!!

 

Update after RE Appt. . .

I can hardly believe it has been almost a month since I last blogged. . . I must admit that the time away has been nice and even now as I try and write this post my brain is just not really with it, lol. I think the Texas heat may be frying my brain cells just a tiny bit.

We finally had our WTF appointment with my RE and talked about what the next step is for us since IUI # 3 failed. . . It was a good talk and I'm glad I got it done and over with.

Drum roll please

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

IVF

(O.o)

 *pulls hair out* 

Yep, that is the only option left for us unless a miracle happens and  I get pregnant naturally. 

Hummmm. . . *scratches head*  How the heck did we get to this?!?!?

*sigh* 

 IVF will cost us anywhere from 12,500-14,500 and will get us 1 fresh IVF cycle and one FET cycle.

Mr. Pnut and I have decided that we'll save the money. *gulp* It may take a while, but eventually we'll get there. In the mean time I'll still be able to see my RE for treatment of Endometriosos *Happy Dance*. Getting to see Dr. Laura for Endo makes me so very happy and mainly, because I've already been seeing her for the last few years and she already knows my body, heck she's been inside there and knows what's up so that makes me feel very confident that I'm in good hands!!

We talked about what I should do about the Endo during the extended break before getting to IVF and she will leave it completely up to me. She doesn't want to force us to stop trying on our own, because any opportunity is an opportunity, but let's get real. Endo is ravaging my insides as we speak, so I need some way of controlling it from now until we're ready for IVF.

Right now I'm having more and more pain from my Endo, it is not just during AF, but also during sex, ovulation and other random days throughout my cycle. I've dealt with this for a very long time so, I'm kind of used to it, but knowing the pain is coming back more and more each cycle lets me know that the Endo needs to be stopped somehow if we are to have a successful IVF in the future. (I can't believe I just said that) Talking about IVF feels so foreign right now, I never thought we'd have to go that far to make a baby. . .

Dr. Laura recommends going back on BC to see if that helps the pain and to obviously control the growth, if that does not help then we'll talk about Lupron. I seriously do not want to take Lupron :| If any of you have had to go on Lupron for Endo please leave me some info, advice or anything that would be helpful please share :) Dr. Laura also advised me not to wait past 32. The longer we wait the more damage my Endo will cause, I'll be 30 in March so, this gives us a good amount of time to save up. I told Dr. Laura that I would call back in August as I'd make up my mind then on what to do about the BC. I'm about to get a visit from AF, so I plan on trying on our own for a natural cycle during July just as one last attempt on our own before walking away for the next year or so. I don't have high hopes that it will work, but who knows.

I've been thinking about possibly going on a Diet *Ahhhhhhhhhhhh* An Endo Diet that is. I wonder if I can control the Endo in a more natural way that way we still have opportunities to conceive on our own while we wait and save for IVF. So many things to think about. . . The Diet would mean big changes in my lifestyle, I'm fearful of not having the power to stick with it, lol. . . I've been doing a bit of research and it is helpful yet completely overwhelming at the same time.
 

RE Update - Vlog

I planted my Tree!!

I want to say again how grateful I am for this community and the support I have been given! Thank you to everyone who reads my blog, because it means a so much to me!!

I also want to say that if you do not see many posts from me over the next few months please do not be alarmed, lol. I'm just going through emotions that require more of *me* time!! More real *me*, not *me* on the computer contemplating all things infertility. I have to heal myself, and I can't continue to do things in the same way that I have in the past. I have been immersed in the world of infertility for so long that I need to regroup and figure out how I truly want to move forward, if I want to move forward. . . In order to do that I need feel better emotionally and physically. I need to support myself more instead of just shoving myself through each month mindlessly.

I'm not giving up on trying to conceive our little miracle, but I am stepping away for a while. I'm 29. I'll be 30 in March. I want to be happy when I turn 30. I was miserable turning 29, waiting to see if I was pregnant since we'd done IUI right before my Birthday. It failed. I failed. Emotionally it was the worst birthday I've ever had. It was fun and I was surrounded by my awesome friends, but I was numb inside and I hate that I have let infertility steal that from me. I have become such a hermit that I'm watching my life pass by, I miss my friends and I miss being happy. We need to save money, because I don't want to waste  money on ingectables with the severity of my Endo. If we are going to save money then I want to save for IVF. My doctor says I would be a great candidate because we know I "can" get pregnant and I have plenty of eggs. I feel a sense of relief knowing we are taking an extended break. *sigh* I have had thoughts of whether or not I even want to purse IVF. . . Maybe I'm ready to walk away and find peace with it all right now. I have been battling these thoughts very intensely as of late. I think if anything we'll always try no matter what, and if it happens well then so be it. I don't know what I'll do, I just know that I can't deal with this my whole life. . . I'm gonna to need to dig really deep in order to understand where I need to go from here.

I'll still be around lurking about and reading your blogs and perhaps even commenting. I hope to see many bfp's in the future for all you ladies!! And I'll probably post randomly about my life. . . Who knows *sigh*

I took the first step in my healing process by planting a tree in my backyard to remember my Little Bean. And all of *this*. This - meaning all the shit that my husband and I have been through because of Infertility, all the pain, the hurt and for each of my losses that will never be. Had I not miscarried in November we would have brought home a baby this week :| It still breaks my heart. This tree is also my hope. Because I do still have a lot of hope!! I will watch it grow and change, and I will hope with each new leaf and each new inch that I will be that much closer to my goal. A baby. A life that will be a piece of both of us, a life to carry on after ours. I feel much peace after planting my tree. I buried beneath it a sonogram picture, a short note, that first pregnancy test and my hospital bracelet with the date it all happened. . . It feels as if I set a part of my self free. I feel good about that and ready to move on with finding myself again. . .  Much love to you all ♥

Thank you everyone!!

I just want to to say Thank you so much to everyone for your support and wonderful comments. You truly helped lift my spirits and I really can't express in the right words what that means to me. I was in a very dark place, but I am feeling better today and a little more like me. I'm planting my little tree tomorrow and hope that it will help bring even more peace my way. I'm scheduling a consult appointment with my RE so the Husband and I can sit and discuss where we go from here. . . 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your sweet, honest and supportive words ♥ 

IUI #3 = BFN Vlog

Sometimes I'm not very positive. . .

IUI # 3 is a failure. . . I cried all day on Friday, actually I've been crying for days. . .  I just had a feeling this cycle wasn't it since I got so freaking sick this week. I wrote the post (below) last night in a fit of crying. It was not pretty, not pretty at all. Thank God my Pnut was snoozing in bed so he didn't have to witness me in all my glorious misery. This morning I took a test. . . I wasn't gong to test early, but I needed something to relieve the craziness going on in my head. The test was negative. I cried, and cried and cried some more and then went to work. I'm still a few days from my actual test date so I'm pretty sure the early pregnancy test would have picked up something. .  . I now feel sad, but feel some relief as well. I plan to obviously test again on Monday morning. . . But I already know in my heart that it is going to be a negative. I feel crushed and so disappointed. . . My heart is hurting and I truly don't know where we'll go from here. I was going to delete the post below, but felt I should not be ashamed of my sad pity party. . . I need to remember this, how it feels, so one day when I have to throw in the towel... at least I'll know I gave it everything I had in me. Life is so unfair. . .  I'm grateful for all I have, but I feel empty and defeated at the same time.

Friday Nights Post, mind you it was typed while crying uncontrollably... I'm better today.

Ps. . . Sorry about all the F-bombs :|

I cry and my heart aches. . . it aches more than words can say. I cry, because I feel dead inside, numb, unable to find my happiness, unable to remember who I am and what makes me laugh. I feel as if all I know right now is pain, struggle and heartache. . . My sobs are deep and full of sadness, fear and frustration. This pain of "what if" and this pain of "infertility" is and has become emotional torture. I have felt this pain for 8 years, 8 fucking years and it only gets worse as time goes on. Why do I feel so alone, why do I punish myself and not let myself reach out? I stay in this warped little bubble that is my world, and I feel comfort there, because it is really all I have know for such a long time, I feel like no one around me really understands the pain I feel inside. I don't want to burden others. I'm struggling to stay afloat and I am losing my life, my *me*. One day when this is all over (this crappy infertility ride) I'm going to wake up, baby or no baby and be sad for all that I have lost to this stupid fucking disease. I feel so guilty at times for pushing people away, I don't mean it, but I know I do it. I feel somewhat disconnected, emotionally disconnected. It kinda feels like everyone's life is moving forward in some way, and I'm just stuck on pause watching everything else around me go by, unable to speak, powerless. It's getting close to the end, because I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm almost ready to walk away if this one doesn't work. I just want to scream out loud, I want to break things I want to feel something other than just my fucking emotions. I'm hurting inside. I feel so defeated already, my heart.... I want to rip it out and not feel anything. I'm so fearful of failure, I don't want to go back to that dark place. I can't. It's not fair. Why? Why"? Fucking WHY???? I hurt on a daily basis. I put on my mask to be a normal person in this cookie cutter life, but at times I feel as though I'm dying inside. I hate what I have emotionally become. I hate the way I feel. I hate that it feels like there is a fucking hole in the middle of not only my body but my soul. I am broken, I feel completely broken. . . I do not know who I am anymore. I mean really? who am I? I am an fucking infertile woman who is pissed off at the world. *sigh* I'm breaking inside. . .

Feeling like crapola

Well Ladies I'm sick :| And not the "morning sickness" kinda sick. I have been attacked by some sort of virus or some sort of upper respiratory infection. I feel like dog poo, and it is my Husbands fault since he got sick first :| Monday I had a little cough, Monday night it started to get worse, I couldn't sleep last night and could feel my lungs burning each time I tried to cough. Ugggg. I woke up this morning feeling like death warmed over :( This is totally not the best time to get sick. *stomps feet and pouts*

Today I am 7 DPIUI and on CD 23. . . I really have no clue if this IUI worked or not. I'm afraid my pessimistic side has gained control of my thoughts as of right now. I've been very tearful, emotional, irritable or rather short tempered, but I haven't felt any of the signs I felt when I got pregnant with IUI in September. I wake up and the first thought on my waking mind is "Are my boobs sore??" Ugggg. I feel like a freak walking around grabbing my boobs throughout the day, lol. I feel frustrated that I'm unable turn that part of my brain off. I know I've said this before... So I'll just say it again.

I. HATE. THE. 2WW. HATE. IT.

I feel as though I got spoiled feeling all those symptoms so early on that first IUI... I'm finding it hard to remain positive right now. No to say that I can't find it within me, just that its kinda hard right now. I'm hoping my negativity is a sign of moodiness and hopefully a pregnancy symptom :) I don't know if it's because I'm sick and just feel so crappy, if it is just the fear of failure or if I'm just feeling sad about this upcoming week... My little Beans due date *sigh*. I didn't think it would really bother me, but having done this IUI I now feel soooo much emotion, so anxious, I feel like I want to hibernate for the next 7 days. . . :)

Sorry to be such a downer Ladies - we all have those days and today is mine! 

 IUI #3 CD 23 - 7 DPIUI Vlog

That time again - May ICLW

Welcome, May ICLWers!!

Thank you so very much for taking the time to stop by my page *waves Hi*

If you want the long version of our journey you can visit here.

I am 29 years old and my Husband is 31 - We will celebrate 9 years of Marriage this week on Thursday the 24th Eeek- ♥ We have been attempting to get pregnant and stay pregnant for the last 8 years. . . We've spent the last two and a half years seeking treatment and have suffered several miscarriages :| I have Stage IV Endometriosis which blocks my left tube and has caused extensive scarring, but the Husband has a pretty decent swing team so that is an excellent plus!!

Today at 10:30am we completed our 3rd IUI paired with Letrozole. This will be our 3rd "try" since my miscarriage in November 2011. Hopefully this will be our lucky #3. We should know by the first week of June if our IUI worked. That will be the same week I would have been due with my sweet little bean *sigh* Let's just say it will either be the best week I've had in forever, or it will be a rather crappy week where I'm forced to crawl into a hole and hibernate until I'm old, grey and all my eggs have dried up, hehehe. 

This may very well be our last shot with IUI. I'm hoping and praying with everything that I have within me that it works and sticks. I'd love to have a little Valentines Baby *sigh* We can't afford IVF so if this doesn't work we'll most likely take an extended break, try on our own and save for IVF.

*fingers crossed*