Moving on to IUI treatments!!

Josh and I got to see Dr. Laura Lawrence at Fertility Associates of North Texas on Tuesday this past week! It was the 15th and we were there for about 2 hours talking with the Dr about Morphology, egg health and different types of treatment ideas. It was an information overload. It was kind of funny to look over at Josh throughout..hehe He was a trooper through it all. We are a good candidate for 3-4 rounds of IUI <--- In other words, an Intrauterine Insemination. They are going to put the swim team a little bit closer to the finish line. I am no longer going to take Clomid. It made my vision kind of blurry while I was taking it, my Gyno never even asked me if it blurred my vision. Dr. Laura said that Clomid can cause permanent damage to one's optic nerve. Eeek! My vision is already a little challenged...lol and I definitely don't want to risk my eye sight trying to have a baby. I'm going to take something called Letrozole to stimulate ovulation. I'll have to tinkle on the little sticks again, get sonograms to see how many eggs my ovaries produce with the Letrozole and measure the size of the follicles to make sure the eggs are mature enough. When I get the LH surge it will be time to inseminate the "not so original way". Josh will give his sample of the swim at the ARTS building next door to our RE office, they will wash it (get rid of the bad stuff) add it to some protein mixture and then deposit it into my baby making oven! Then we'll wait and see if it works. It's honestly not that complicated...compared to injectables or invtro. With all my heart and soul I pray to the Gods that we don't have to get to that point. When we saw her on Tuesday we were all set to start this IUI process when my next cycle comes, which should be this week sometime. Unless I got pregnant this month *crosses fingers* and then I would get that Halloween baby *sigh*. I had a bunch of blood drawn to test for various different things. Then...Friday morning my nurse Coral calls to tell me I have absolutely no immunity to the Rubella virus (MMR = Measles, mumps and Rubella (German measles)). I told Coral I'd think about it over the weekend. No big deal right?!? Ugh...we have to wait whole month before we can start any IUI's :/ Aaannnndddd...we have to use condoms...rotfl or "contracept" as Coral would say. *Yea kids...so I know you haven't used a condom in about 8 years but now you do and you have to do it for a month...have fun* I was really bummed after my phone conversation. I was sooo excited to get started in March! It could have been my Birthday present *giggle*. I kept thinking... Rubella? Mumps...measles!?! Who the hell even gets this crap anymore, I mean at least here in the states anyway :/ I had to set my selfish and impatient feeling aside and do what's best for the health of our future Baby Bernard. Contracting Rubella while pregnant would be detrimental to the baby's health. I work in a Hotel and see people everyday who get off planes and who knows who they were sitting next to. I was torn on what to do I wanted to jump right in and get started lol... This is a true test of my patients. Josh and I talked about it on Friday and then Sunday night again, I asked him what he thought and He said "We've waited long enough, what's another month of waiting" so I knew my answer.. "We wait" I'm kind of excited at how it worked out because my Birthday is March 25 and I'm going to Lady Gaga on the 14th so now I can actually drink and let me tell you...I'm gonna have a blast!

Last round of Clomid..ps (please work) Love, Me...

I started the my last round of Clomid this week. I really hope this month is the month it would be a nice little Christmas surprise. I can't believe it's already gone by so fast :/ At least I won't have to deal with the hot flashes for a while..hehehe. Who knows what they'll put us through when and if we have to see the Reproduction Endocrinologist..Hmmm . I'm trying to think positively about this month it's a little frustrating becuase it feels like I already know it's not going to work..So I'll be in complete shock if it actually does work. There is a big part of me that hopes and wishes since it is our last round maybe it work *giggle* Who knows it would be a fun story that we could tell our child one day..of how much trouble it was..lol. I have high hopes and high nerves. *fingers crossed*

Thanksgiving was this week..I had to work. Ugh! Haha. Josh and I got up at about 10:30 got ready and headed over to see my side of the family..which consist of my Grandma, Dad, Brother and his Wife Teresa. It was pretty low key, chill and relaxing. My dad made a delicious turkey..he always does :) We only stayed there for about an hour and a half and then headed over to Jen and Wooky's house, since Sheila and Bart
were in Louisiana. We saw little miss Miranda and Sarah. I got some mashed potatoes at Jens..hehe. The potatoes weren't ready at my grandmas when we got there..lol. After leaving Jen's we went back home and I got ready for work and that about sums up my Thanksgiving for 2010. Last year we cooked at our house because I was off work..it was great. Josh and I definitely want to cook Thanksgiving dinner next year. Tomorrow Josh and I are cooking our own little dinner and are set to watch Toy Story 3!! The only thing I didn't get to eat on Thanksgiving was green bean casserole..my favorite next to deviled eggs and mashed potatoes..yummm!

Today was my first day off after the long Holiday week at work and I was a complete bum today... I planned on vegging on the couch all day with Netflix but I was actually somewhat productive. I rescued Sarah from Pep Boys..she had a flat and it was going to be 3 hours before they could get to her tire. So I picked her up and we hung out for the afternoon. She helped me decorate my lil Christmas Tree :) It's cute..only about 4 ft tall. I had a bigger one but my grandma wanted to have a big Christmas tree for Arthur so I traded with her so he could enjoy the big Tree! I remember as a child we always had a big tree..I loved it! We also went for an evening walk and I discovered this secret path through our neighborhood. I love random adventures..especially at sunset on a crispy cool November evening . Good times...

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I called my doctor this morning to ask about what’s possibly going on with my cycle this month. It’s been completely out of whack. The nurse said; that I should wait a few more days and take another pregnancy test because the Clomid made me ovulate on day 18 or 19 which is kind of late. I think I’m going to wait until Wed or Thursday because I’m actually off work. I’d rather take it when I’m off work so that the negative depressiveness doesn’t have to go with me to work. Even if you’re pretty sure you are not pregnant and you take a test and it’s negative…It’s gut wrenching…and it set’s your whole day of on the wrong foot and I hate that feeling, as much as you say it’s not going to affect you it totally does. If it comes up negative then I’ll have to start the drug called prometrium in order to start my cycle again. It’s so crazy to me…I have had a fairly normal cycle and now I’m completely screwed up because of this medication. I’m frustrated, wondering whether or not I should continue with the Clomid. I called my insurance company today and tried to find out what all my insurance covers as far as fertility treatment is concerned. And unfortunately they do not cover much.

I think I’m going to make an appointment to see a Reproduction Endocrinologist…my insurance covers that and it’s 50$ a visit I pretty much will have to pay out of pocket for an other labs, tests, x-rays and whatever else they would want to put me through…how crappy. At this point I feel I should go to the direct source of information instead of just seeing my ob/gyn…I’m sure she knows what she’s doing but if the Clomid doesn’t work within 3 months I’ll be referred to one (RE) anyway. I’m totally bummed :(

This is the reason I waited to so long in the first place to see a doc. I knew it would be a difficult ride…I don’t want to stop and run away scared because I really want this!! I’m just afraid and emotions are running wild right now. I’m trying to stay positive but today I just cried and cried while I was getting ready for work. I want to scream and yell “it’s not fucking fair” but that’s pretty childish and it really won’t get me anywhere. So I sit here with my stomach in knots and wait…that’s the current story of my life…lol.